The Love Of A Child And Loving My Children

I won’t lie. There are days I do question my own sanity, and I won’t lie and say that they don’t occur quite often because they do, but then their are days I realize why I do it, and tears slip down my face for the love of a child.

Today my little Angel turned 12. Twelve years we have been together. Twelve years we’ve fought the world together. When I thought I couldn’t do something, being her mother pushed me through. When things got tough I fought not for myself, but for her.

And then came her siblings. And I did the same for them as I do and did for my Angel.

I won’t lie and tell you it has been the easiest life, or that sometimes I didn’t wish I had waited to have children, but then a part of me realizes, if it had been another time or another moment, fate wouldn’t have granted me the children I have now. And I wouldn’t be thanking the powers that be for giving such glorious children to me.

I also realized today, I have done right by my children.

Like I said, I know things haven’t always been the easiest and I know they know it too, but a day like today, when we have that family day, day to celebrate and have time with one and another it makes me realize, no matter where we are, we will always be a family.

And I know that’s what matters.

And tonight, when a beautiful little blue eyed boy looks up from me in his bed and says “Mama, I love you. You’re my bestest friend” I realize how much I love being a mother, how much I love my children, and how much, no matter how tough the days get, I will continue fighting and pushing forward.

Happy birthday sweet Angel, and I love you.

And to our future, I hope things will only get better, and you and me will always be “bestest friends.”

7 Years Old Or 7 Years Young

My little boy turns 7 years old today and I can hardly believe it.

7 years ago today, I was looking at my beautiful, chubby little boy sleeping in an incubator. He seemed so akward and much too big to lay in there. I looked around the room at all the other babies and shook my head. He was 7.5lbs, most of the other babies around him were under 5lbs. But for some reason, his body couldn’t handle being touched, it went into a state of shock. I held him once, Josh held him once and then he was placed into the little cot.

They shaved his head, his very first haircut was the day he was born, and the results was a crazy little mohawk (just like the one he now sports today LOL).

It’s amazing to see how far he’s come in those 7 years. He still hates being touched (come on he’s now a 7 year old boy… no hugs anymore for mommy LOL) but is growing quickly into a wonderful young man.

Happy Birthday my dearest Russell, I can’t wait to see the man you grow into as the years pass. I hope today is a day you will remember always.

Mommy.

A Million Directions At Once

Sorry for the lack of updates, as the title suggests, I have found myself going in a million directions at once. I am still working as a Trade Director with ITEX, am now a lease-to-own agent for a Calgary company and am still running my online businesses, and did I mention, it’s summer. So I have my 5 wonderful children home. Well I can’t really say that, as my mom and her hubby were kind enough to take 2 children at a time to help give us a break from the chaos that is life. But that all ends tomorrow, when my youngest two little ones come home.

I’m still doing my best to try and find a new home for our family, as the current conditions of our housing have not improved, but as is life I suppose. Hopefully in the coming months we will finally escape this home and move to one of our own, with no issues that could adversly affect our health.

My own health has left me in a bit of a clouded state of mind, but I do my best to continue on each day and hold my head high and know that one day, things will be brighter and that much better for us all.

Till then, I will continue pushing forward as I always have and will do my best to keep my little blog better up to date.

I hope you are all having a wonderful summer and enjoying time with your families and loved ones.

Best wishes now and forever,

Sylvia

Roller Coaster Ride Of Life

As many of you already know, I battle with depression, have my whole life, and recently another nasty bout hit me. Which is why I really haven’t been around here as much as perhaps I should’ve.

You see, depression really can’t kick your ass, it can drop you outta the game really quick and really hard if you let it get under your skin.

I’ve gotten pretty good at kicking back at it, and will admit, I do take meds now to keep it at bay, but some weeks you just want to bury your head in the sand.

And these last few weeks that is where I sat.

I lost a job I loved because of an asshole who will remain nameless. But as the saying goes, when one door closes another opens. And though I lost that job, I got it back with a much better support group.

And it has changed me big time. To feel appreciated, cared for and supported makes all the difference in the world. Loving your job can only take you so far. I loved my clients but hated the people I worked for. But when the new door opened, it opened to a much brighter and better place.

And of course, the housing situtation had me pretty down.

No one wants to raise their children in a home detrimental to their health. And when I notice it affecting my babies, I stand up to go to war. There ain’t much in life I will fight for as hard as I will fight for those 5 children, and I think a big part of the depression was I felt like I was smashing my head into a brick wall  instead of making any gains.

Now things are looking much more positive on that front as well, I feel like I can breathe a little better, knowing it won’t be long till we get outta this death trap.

Beyond that, I realized I have a lot more people in my life that care about me than most.

I look up to them, I feel like a kid sister to most of them (even though some are old enough to be my father LOL) and it feels good.

It feels good to know that when things get tough, you’ve got someone covering your ass.

That there are people in this world that will go to bat for you.

And it was the most awe inspiring thing to watch really. I saw some take on a fortune 500 corporation and use language and “balls” I don’t think many people in this world have. (I was shocked and amazed to be honest, and the calling out of the cowards and the whole works was quite amazing to see.)

I also have those who would hand their last dollar my way, if it meant food in my children’s mouths when I just didn’t have the means.

To all the men in my life, and you all know who you are, I say thank you.

You help me in more ways then any of you will really know, and you helped me out of another dark and dreary day in my life. And because of all of you, I see the light at the end of the tunnel, the sunset on the shit, the sunrise on the life I have been fighting so hard for. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

Loud Mac, Master Copywriter And One Hell Of A Friend

This post is long overdue really. And it is written as kudos to a great guy who has given so much of his time, and taught me a hell of a lot. Not only that, in a lot of ways, he’s like the big brother I never had.

Loud Mac, also known as Brian McLeod, first stepped into my life on the Warrior Forum. Right off the bat he was a great guy to chat with, email with and ask for advice.

The first time he stepped up to plate for me, he wrote a beautiful copy for my birthday. It was for the Liberation 101 course that took place on the Warrior Forum, the summer of 2009. I asked him for help with the copy, and got up on my birthday, to a fully complete beautifully written sales letter.

The rest really is history.

Brian worked (and still works) with Vegas Vince and I on our Barter Arbitrage product, and created one hell of an interactive membership site. Not to mention the kick ass copy on that one as well. He’s a silent partner in our operations and one we could not have done the course without.

From there he has assisted many times in helping me write and learn to write copy.

He has stepped in and given me hours of his time, and helped turn some pages I will admit totally sucked into masterpeices.

Him and Vince have both gone to bat for me on more recent events, where I simply wanted to cry for the assholeness of people around me (not sure if that’s a word LOL, but it should be.)

Marketer, copywriter and friend, Brian overdelivers.

Make sure you hire Brian for your next project… you won’t be disappointed. His kick ass site (I love the headline) can be found at LoudMac.com

Thanks for all you’ve done and helping me achieve so much,

Sylvia