Today I got Will’s assesments from the specialists from the last year, and it was heartbreaking.

To know how far he’s come since the journey began, and how far he has left to go is a difficult task.

And to know in many ways, Matty is so much worse than William ever was at this age leaves my heart in peices.

Every day we celebrate the little things. Something so mundane as staying dry through the night is a big event. Eating all their dinner, or eating at all is a big celebration. Small things become little triumphs, and when you focus so much on the little triumphs, the big issues don’t seem so big. And when they are no longer so big, they feel like something that can be dealt with, something that one day we will overcome.

We’ve learned we can’t plan ahead, and that we have to plan ahead. Catch 22…If we don’t prepare the boys enough, it’ll be a very rough day, if we ourselves plan too far in advance, the day may come, and we may be unable to undertake any such tasks for the mood the boys awake in.

But life keeps on moving, because it doesn’t stop for anything. Even heart break such as the one I had today. Sometimes I watch them sleep, and wonder if they will ever be okay? Will they ever graduate, have a girlfriend, get married, or will they forever be lost in their own little worlds. I hope one day they will have the life all children deserve, till then we will keep in fighting, for life doesn’t stop for autism, or anything.

Why is it when life is going the best, that things go so wrong?

Why is it that when everything should be so perfect in your life, things go so wrong?

At this point in life, I should be happy, I should be excited. I should be jumping for joy, because years of hard work, pain and suffering seem to be paying off. But instead I feel like I could curl up and cry.

Why is it when things I never thought I would acheive are at my fingertips, I feel like everything is slipping from my grasp.

I never thought I would ever have the money to get my little boys the help they need, and suddenly it looks as those it could possibly happen. The amount of money made my heart sink when the words came out of the nurses mouth. $5,200 is more money then I can afford to just throw down at any one time. But thanks to Lend4Health and wonderful people I should be able to do it soon. And for that I am eternally happy.

Yet, so many people are so mad in my life. And I am doing the best I can, to give my everything to everyone, and try and leave a little bit for me, for my own sanity. And do my best to maintain my sanity while I’m at it.

I should be celebrating today. I should be jumping for joy…but instead, I want to curl up and cry.

Thank you everyone for all you’ve done and all you’ve given me. I hope I can give you all something back that’s worth what you’ve given me.

Thank you again, everyone.

Just a few days ago, I never believed I would ever get to a point of being able to get either of my boys biomedical treatment. I have put out want ads hoping someone will help or perhaps a D.A.N doctor would be willing to do something on trade to help my sons. The amounts to me seemed impossible by all means, in fact they are almost a quarter of my entire earnings last year! But that dream doesn’t seem so hard to believe in anymore. It really doesn’t. You see because of a wonderful college and friend, I have had an out pouring of support, and in fact, we are over 10% of the way to getting Will to see that doctor, in just over 24 hours. And what a strange chain of events it has been.

Where to begin? I wanted to read Jenny McCarthy’s book, Mother Warriors, to see how she helped her son overcome autism. I read it and was amazed. I joined her mailing list. She sent out an email a few months back about grants that Generation Rescue was offering for biomedical treatments. I sent it to my list of autistic families. Surely some of them could use the help.

I find a D.A.N doctor in my own city! I call for an appointment at which point my heart breaks, it would cost $5,200 per boy! This is WAY outta my league.

I never thought back then the Canadian gov’t wouldn’t cover it.

So Jenny sends out another email, stating for those of us not accepted to check out Lend4Health.org Being a Canadian I wasn’t sure they could help.

Fast forward to a phone call on a Saturday morning. It was Lend4Health, and Tori, the owner and entrepreneur who came up with the idea is on the line. She is a wonderful woman, whose own child is afflicted with autism spectrum disorders. She started it to help other parents. And we both have a light bulb moment. As an internet marketer I can help her, help other children, and help my own children. And so it starts.

I put up a little widget on my blog, with the goal for Will, $5,200 seems still so daunting. When I spoke with Tori, the biggest loan they had done to date was $1500, I needed much much more…

And then I awake this morning, and Vince and the warriors have renewed my faith in man kind. And hours later, there it is over 10% of the way for Will to get his treatment, and all of this without a loan, all of this donations from the hearts and wallets of those around me.

And now I know, it won’t be too long before I can call the doctor and say BOOK IT. We have the cash, please book it. SO to all those strangers who have given even a dollar to the fund I say thank you, it is because of all of you, my little man will be able to get the help he needs because life is hard enough, without any issues, and you have given him the chance to live a normal happy life. And for that, as a mother I will be forever grateful. If I can ever help any of you, please let me know, because from the bottom of my heart I love you all.

As many of you know I have two sons that have autistic traits. And as many of you know I have been actively seeking ways to help them, as well as other parents of autistic children. And I came across a great little organization that is doing just that. Some of you are familiar with Kiva and how that works, this is the same set up but works for biomedical treatments (which are quite costly.)

And because of Lend4Health, my little boys may have all the chance in the world to get the treatments they need, to help them live a better life to their fullest potential.

So here is what I am doing, if you would like to donate use the ChipIn below, if you would prefer to do a microloan check out Lend4Health and look for William.

But like I said, if you prefer just to donate…

Otherwise check out Lend4Health.

And because so many of you have already requested I set it up now for Matty’s fund for biomedical treatment here he is:

And here is his donation button:

Thanks to everyone for helping me and my little men.

To all of you who have been on the fence about joining Liberation 101, let me know yor questions or concerns and maybe I can help alleviate them before you miss out on the great chance at changing your business, or starting a new one altogether. Vegas Vince has already spilled the beans on so much great information in our little forum that the members are growing hungry for tomorrow.  You only have around 24 hours left to join us, so if you haven’t signed up yet but are planning on it, get your butt in gear, cause you don’t wanna be kicking yourself for missing out on it later.

If you haven’t listened to the show yet on why you should join us, you should for sure check it out…

See you on the inside for the ride of your lives.